Lesson on Bullies and Self-Defense

Susan Ryan Freudenthal January 2003

This lesson is the third in a series of four designed for children ages 7-10. Previous lessons in the series focus on building self-esteem, anger identification and management. The last lesson in the series focuses on interdependence.

Resources:

• The Bully Free Classroom Free Spirit Press, Simple Self-Defense

• Chalice and matches

• Photocopied handouts from “The Bully Free Classroom”

Note: This a movement oriented lesson. For children with special physical needs adaptations may be necessary.

Open with chalice lighting: As Unitarian Universalists we honor and affirm the inherent worth and dignity of each person.

Goals of the lesson:

To understand we each have the right to protect and defend ourselves

Those who bully and threaten us deserve compassion and understanding

Begin with the following or use your own words to express the following:

Last session this group talked about bullies and bullying. Today we will learn a few things about protecting ourselves from harm. Each one of us has the right to protect ourselves from being hurt physically. Has anyone ever been threatened by a bully?

What did you do?

There are several ways to prevent being bullied by someone; sometimes a bully or stranger may try to really hurt us. For Example: grabbing you by the shirt, try to push you over, harasses you with words.

Activity: simple self-defense moves

Model using two children (two older children) have one be the grabber/ the other the victim. The grabber tries to knock the other over. The victim spreading their legs, keeping feet apart and crouch down, prevents this. “Believe you are a mountain of rock.”

Sometimes keeping your balance is all you need to do. Stay alert, lower your center of gravity, widen your stance, and brace yourself. Remind the group that they are not to hurt each other! This is for practice and learning a new skill. Anyone who does hurt another will be escorted to the Sanctuary to be with his or her parent.

Pair the children; invite them all to practice the moves.

The second move is escaping from a shirt hold. (Look at the pictures included in the folder in the room for clearer details) Again model first, and then ask the group to try it making sure they change places so each person has a chance to see both sides.

Tell the group the following:

How to not act like a victim: Stand Tall, hold your head up high

Stay alert

Take confident steps

Don’t stare or glare at people but look them in the eye a little. If you cannot do this, practice looking at someone’s ear or eyebrow.

If you find yourself in trouble, yell for help and move away as quickly as you can!

What to do if: describe the following ask for volunteers to role-play the scenario. Help the group solve the problems.

First scenario: A bigger kid in the school auditorium tells you to get out of “his” seat. One child is already seated, a second larger child tells the first to move.

What do you do? Possible responses: be polite, do not get angry, and make sure your hands are in your lap. Use some of your anger management skills to control your temper. An adult may be nearby to help, look around for an empty seat. Talk in low clear calm voice and say something like “I would like to stay in this seat but I can move” “You look angry I’d be happy to give you my seat”

Second scenario: You are being unjustly teased and ganged up on in the schoolyard.

Possible responses: Be assertive, tell the people teasing you to stop, you have a right to speak you mind to them, do not allow anyone to put their hands on you, walk to the nearest adult (don’t run unless you are in physical danger), make a joke or say something funny, walk with others in the yard.

If the group can be resettled ask the following: why do you think some people bully? *(Use photocopied sheet titled Have Compassion)

Put the responses on newsprint. *Distribute Ways to Stay Bully Free

Book for this session is titled “Move Over Twerp” a story about a small child on the school bus and how he earns the respect of the bullies. Read this if you have

time!

* Resource for the handouts is from “The Bully Free Classroom” Free Spirit Press.